A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
