When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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