i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
