I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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