I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize