ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
