...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
