I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
