I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
