another moral hangover. fuck.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
