Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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