apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
