well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
