your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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