can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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