Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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