i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
