Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
two words: eviction party
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
