I hate all girls vehemently.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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