i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
