evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
