Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
