dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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