i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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