You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize