Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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