He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
