guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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