plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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