I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize