don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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