i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
