there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
