Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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