it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
