I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize