Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
