I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
