why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
