i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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