I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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