You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
and she was petting her beer can
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
