drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Panties = found
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
