Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
