What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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