Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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