FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
