Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
