Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Two words: blizzard sex
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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