well I can't set my house on fire every night
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
