Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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