He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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