Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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