What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Randomize
