I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
