Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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