We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize