I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize