I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize