I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
