he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
