yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you inspire me to be a worse person
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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