Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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